Just a day ago, a student asked a grammar question in our community.
It was about two-way prepositions in German.
Specifically: auf den vs. auf dem.
I explained that auf is a so-called two-way preposition.
It takes accusative when the underlying question is wohin (where to). It takes dative when the underlying question is wo(where).
The explanation made sense to her.
And then she replied:
“I understand it. Now I just need to remember it.”
And that’s the exact moment where things usually go wrong.
Understanding vs. Memorizing
There is a sharp distinction between:
- I understand it
- I need to memorize / remember it
Understanding is great. Striving for understanding is healthy.
Memorization, on the other hand, is where unnecessary pressure starts.
And here’s an important truth:
Knowing grammar rules does not automatically lead to correct speaking.
Look at your native language
Look at how you speak your native language.
Most people know very few grammar rules about their own language. And yet, they speak it accurately.
When someone makes a mistake, you immediately hear it.
It sounds wrong. It feels off.
But if someone asks you:
“Why is this wrong? What rule did I break?”
Most people can’t explain it.
They don’t know the rule. They just know that it doesn’t sound right.
That’s how language actually works.
If you ask a native German speaker:
- What a two-way preposition is
- What dative really means
- Why adjective endings behave the way they do
Most of them don’t know.
They can’t explain it. They don’t know why.
And yet, when they speak, they always get it right.
That alone is a strong hint that grammar knowledge and speaking accuracy are not the same thing.
How language is actually acquired
When we acquired our first language as children, we didn’t care about grammar rules.
We:
- Heard patterns
- Recognized patterns
- Re-encountered patterns again and again
And unconsciously, our brain learned what “sounds right”.
As adults, we are different.
We want to know why. We like explanations. Grammar rules satisfy our curiosity and help us make sense of the language.
And that’s fine.
Striving for understanding can be useful.
But understanding and memorizing are not the same thing.
Why memorization feels necessary (but isn’t)
The urge to memorize comes from school.
At school:
- You had homework
- You had tests
- Someone would later ask you something
- You had to recall it on demand
So you learned:
“If I don’t memorize this, I’ll fail.”
But language learning does not work like school.
No one will ask you:
“Explain two-way prepositions.”
What matters is whether you can use them naturally.
What Actually Makes Grammar Stick
This is the key point many learners miss:
Grammar sticks through repeated exposure, not through effortful remembering.
In a previous email I already discussed why you should stop trying to memorize (see here).
When you read and listen consistently:
- Two-way prepositions come up again
- Dative comes up again
- Adjective endings come up again
Not once. Not twice. But over and over again.
Your brain is extremely efficient.
It only stores what:
- Appears frequently
- Proves to be important
By the 5th, 10th, 20th encounter, something clicks.
Not because you tried to remember it. But because your brain decided it mattered.
A better way to think about grammar
So here’s a better approach to grammar:
- Strive for understanding
- Do not strive for memorization
When you understand a rule, stop there.
Say to yourself:
“I get it.
Now I’ll leave it.
You will encounter it again. And again. And again.
Each time, recognition becomes stronger.
This is how remembering actually happens.
Grammar is a puzzle, not a test
See grammar like a puzzle.
You’re allowed to be curious. You’re allowed to ask “why”.
But don’t turn grammar into a performance metric:
- Am I good enough?
- Did I remember it correctly?
- Why can’t I recall this rule?
That pressure does not help.
Especially at beginner and intermediate levels, the most important grammar structures are embedded in almost every German sentence.
You can’t avoid them.
And that’s a good thing.
The bottom line
- Grammar explanations help you understand
- Exposure helps you remember
- Habits make everything stick
So:
- Strive for understanding
- Strive for consistent reading and listening
- Let memorization take care of itself
If the system is right, the results will follow.
And grammar will fall into place, quietly and without pressure.
Talk to you soon. Bis bald.
Gruß
Manuel
P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are 5 ways I can help you take your German to the next level.